Summer Doldrums

I am one step closer to moving the f$%# out of Long Beach, what with Marissa finding a temporary sublet in an apartment in Queens. As soon as I get back from Costa Rica she's moving back to NY and we're going to crack down on the apartment hunt. This is good as I'm so over the commute and living on Long Island, though I hardly venture outside Long Beach, unless it's to visit Josh in Freeport. I can hardly bear anything else. However, although I can't wait to move out, I have to say I think I will miss some of the LB community, mostly the people (although I'm sure I'll be back plenty once I move away to visit my folks). It strikes me every once in a while (and for some reason, a bit more lately), that Long Beach is a very small, tight-knit community. In reality, it's pretty large, but there are so many circles that are intertwined that I often find myself talking to someone who knew someone else I knew years ago. I think I like that. I just came from a shivah call...a friend of my parent's, ex-neighbor, and former employer (I babysat his daughter) just passed away from lung cancer. I feel really emotional about this, mainly because the family is very close to mine and the kids are so close in age to me and my sister. It's just not fair to see a family torn apart like that. But what really got me was all the friends that were around and helping out, without needing to be asked and without over sentimentality...it's just a given that they'll always be around to help out and this to me is what defines a true community. I only hope that one day I live in such a caring, supportive environment. I almost want to be that eccentric old lady who lives alone, but is never physically alone...always has friends and family stopping through to visit, to share a meal, share a story, play music. Right now I envy my parents that sense of stability, of rootedness, what with all my own friends so scattered over the land and sea. I know now that I could never live far from home for too long. Perhaps I'm feeling sentimental myself, but I've always been one for nostalgia. It hinders me somewhat, I think, but most of the time it's what gets me through the day. That, and looking toward the future...

Can't sleep

I'm writing this relatively late at night, since I can't really sleep. It feels like that last night of summer vacation before you go back to school and you can't get to sleep because you're used to going to bed much later. I've just had a 5-day vacation, courtesy of A) Independence Day and B) My boss, who is currently vacationing in Spain and decided to be generous and give us the rest of the week off. Really nice in theory, but it's totally throwing my schedule off. I basically just lounged around and did nothing. I even brought some work home with me but barely looked at it...too many distractions at home. Now if I had some notice for this mini-holiday, I might've actually planned to go somewhere, but alas, I was not foretold and therefore spent much of my time outside getting sunburned.

Now, it's not that I got sunburned too badly, but I do have these unattractive red patches all over and they're kind of itchy...not fun. I decided that I'm pretty foolish for sunbathing at all. It's not like I get tan. Any color I do get is usually pink/red and it's never even; just sort of blotchy everywhere. I thought I would at least lay out to even out the stupid v-neck shirt tan line I always seem to get from walking around at lunchtime, especially since the dress I'm wearing for a wedding next month is basically strapless (the straps are just two thin beaded chains). I think I'm going to abandon that idea and stop going out in the sun, because even when I put sunscreen on, I get burned. Really, the only reason I even enjoy going to the beach is the ocean. I don't like sand, especially how it gets EVERYWHERE, and I hate how hot it gets in the sun, and the gloppy sunscreen I have to apply every hour. However, I really really love swimming in the ocean and since I'm already at the beach (and it's so close to my house) I figure I'll stay for a few chapters of my book, or a quick nap. Invariably, I always leave after an hour and a half or so, when most people are still arriving. I also feel like I shouldn't take the beach for granted, especially since this will be my last summer in such close proximity to it. Sometimes I feel like I'm going just because I feel I should. I guess it's better to get too much of something, so that you get your fill and don't end up wishing you'd had more of it. I think that's the goal for me with some things. I'm just trying to fill up on things, experiences, sights, places, people, so I can get fed up and not want them anymore later when they are no longer available to me. Does that make sense?

Cyrano de Bergerac

I just had to copy this poem by Edmond Rostand, from Cyrano de Bergerac, translated by Anthony Burgess. It made me laugh...and hungry. Spoken by poet/pastry chef Ragueneau:

A Recipe for Making Almond Tarts.

Poised on steady legs,
First your poet begs
Several eggs.
Froth them to a mousse,
And then introduce
Lemon juice.
Shimmering like silk,
Aromatic milk
Of almonds will c--
--ome next. And next prepare
Pastry light as air
To coat with care
Each pretty pastry mold,
Which sweetly will enfold
The liquid gold.
Smile--a father, fond,
Wave your fiery wand,
Bake till blond.
Melting mouths and hearts,
Ummmmm, saliva starts--
Almond tarts!

HAHAHAHAHA! Love it! I can't believe it took me this long to read Cyrano. I've adored the story ever since I saw the film, starring Gerard Depardieu, in high school French class. Then, of course, there's Roxanne, which is actually more true to the spirit of the original play, being very comedic (the former is just a touch too dramatic). I'm really enjoying the artful language (Rostand is truly a gifted linguist), and the adaptation is brilliant! It's somewhat Shakespearean...full of double entendres, dueling playrights and poets. Hmm, maybe I'll even take a stab at reading it in French!